The first thing you need to do is create that calm environment. You can head off fights and decrease distraction during exchanges by keeping kids focused. Handling Children’s Fights – 1st Turn off the stimulating doo-dads all over the house (games, television, computer), take it easy on the running around, after-school classes, sports, and go go go. Make sure they get proper sleep. Keep some structure and routine.
When your house is chaotic, kids will act chaotic. Sibling skirmishes are almost always a given, but when the fighting starts, it’s easier for children to regain focus if you’ve got a good foundation of structure, expectations, positive attitudes, and low stimulus in your home.
Handling Children’s Fights
When kids argue, separate them. This turns off the laser eye and shuts down the auto-fire on the machine gun. If your son is ticked off at his sister, remove your daughter and get your son focused back on you. Let him explain what happened. Repeat what he said so he knows you heard him. Then direct him on how to handle it. “I understand that your sister keeps messing up your game.
I get it. You have a choice to go in the other room, or let your sister join you in the game. Either way, you need to tell her that when she knocks over the pieces, it makes you upset.” Then talk to your daughter separately and guide her as we ll. She can’t keep messing up the game.
Many times I’ll have kids tell me separately what happened and then I guide them on how to talk to the other person about it. “You can say X or Y, then ask him Z.” I get them back together, then guide the conversation so they stick to the script and don’t fly off the handle again.